Then I realized that looking surly all the time probably isn't real conducive to encouraging strangers to talk (back) to you. When I'm walking around, I'm pretty sure I look none too happy. It isn't something I have to think about to maintain. Possibly because a few ingredients of mine are Chinese genes and upbringing, I tend to not wander around smiling and gabbing like Mr. Rogers in the land of make believe. That's really what a lot of people seem like to me: artificial expressions of delight over a endless litany of pointless babble. People are a lot like daytime television in that respect. Those people have rich, varied social lives and many good friends.

When I was living in my mother's house, where my little brother and older sister #2 kept the television on through most of the day, I was periodically struck by how much having the TV on is like having someone in your house just BLABBERING non-stop. "..bleh blah boo bah beh beh bleah mooma bih foo nah eehh.." The TV is like your friend that talks on and on without worrying about whether you're responding or not. People like TV. People like people that blabber on and on non-stop. Perhaps they are reminded of TV.

Today as band practice was cleaning up, I was listening to the people in the vicinity talking to each other. They remind me of TV. People say such stupid stuff just to say something. And it works! Generating non-stop bibble-babble is rewarded with attention and empathy. Is there a purpose for talking other than communicating what you are saying? No one told me! I thought the only reason I would want to say anything is because I had something to say. I wasn't taught about the secret of blabbering inanity to make friends and influence people. Is it at least humorous inanity? Yes, but no, not on purpose. Much of it is pointing out obvious features of the immediate surroundings. Oh yeah! That's what all that noise is called! Small talk!

I think the purpose of small talk is to make it unecessary for people to chant things like "hap-py-hap-py-hap-py-hap-py" to signal that they are in an amiable mood and a good candidate for socialization. Verbal reassurance that everything is hunky-dory between you, me, this rock, that tree, and the shore and the X-wing. I sound pretty disdainful of this silly practice, but I'm going to be trying it out tomorrow.

I don't know what I'm going to do about my face, though. Maybe if I talk enough, people will assume that I have some sort of nerve disorder which prevents me from smiling. I'm not good enough at talking yet to achieve that level of clouding. I'll be practicing this week. Watch me talk! It's gonna be funny. The first one is going to be really hard, too. Once I have a local-area-reputation for being talky, though, it will actually be more difficult to NOT talk. Neat=o! Aright, I'm going to break the fucked up sleep cycles by trying to sleep NOW and wake up before noon instead of letting my bedtime get later and later until it wraps around.