This guy here is Kristopher, commonly known as Kris. I've known him since the first day of Kindergarten, back in 1981 or so. He was the only blonde guy in my class, a jumble of one half Asian or Polynesian ethnic types (or those two mixed, in varying ratios), and the other half "Other" ethnicity (like me). I think we started talking when I tried to pick on him, but it turned out that we were friends. We were in the same reading group. We progressed quickly through the standard lesson books being used in that school, and eventually we came to have a language group of our own, with no name to go with it. Figuring we were reasonably creative types, the teacher asked us to invent a name. I forget what I suggested, but it was probably something like "The Battlestar Galacticas". Instead, the group elected to go with Kris' idea, an event for which I have never forgiven him. We wound up being called "The E.T.s". Yes, like the movie.

My entire childhood, save the year of 3rd grade, was spent in Kris' near-constant company. I'm sure our parents had some sort of hotline-phone wired directly to the others' house, since we were so often on exchange between the two places. He knows more ugly truth about me than any other living person. We've been camping Boy Scouts, Interisland field trippers, Acolytes at St. Andrew's cathedral, amateur skateboarders, trespassers onto countless properties, silent assistants to the community, money grubbing scoundrels, and whatever else we could imagine, all in collusion. We were airplanes at one point, I'm certain.

It's really hard to record all the stuff I've been through with him. I want to, because it seems unusual that people would remain friends for so long. I don't know why it is so important we stay in contact; it just is. Who else would understand why I would snicker at a news report about a dirigible? Or any of a billion backreferences to earlier events.

Today, after band practice, we were driving around in the dentmobile (my volvo, which has a shallow but upsetting-to-the-owner dent in the fender), and had just driven through the University Way Jack-In-The-Box drive through to pick up some spicy chicken and some bacon bacon, when he suddenly says "Jack in the Bfish. Man! I'm always going to see that now. Annoying!" "Jack in the what?", I say. "Jack in the bfish." "..." I think about this, then I see the Jack in the Box logo in my head, and I remember the O and X on the end are connected. OH. B-Fish. "It's funny that you noticed that," I say. "It's really funny that it bugs you." snicker snicker heh heh. Kris seems awfully witty to me, because he knows all the same references I know, and has a similiar sort of viewpoint on humor. (i.e. weird = funny, dumbest = funny) As I've said in the past, sometimes I forget that he's a real person and not a character in my brain or seperate part of my personality.

Why thinking this, why now? Because now I've got photos of the band.I just thought I'd scan some of them in and post them in my digital scrapbook thing, and when I scanned this one, it looked like it needed some explaining. Well, that's who this guy is. He's my oldest friend, the bass player and singer in the band we formed 6 years ago, and my favorite person to quote. Chances are, if I've spoken to you, I've quoted Kris at you. To conclude: some examples of this.

"Jack in the Bfish"

Black is a great color for stuff to be! -- Kris, painting his stuff black.

Eat Meat! Fuck Vegetarians! -- At a Tad show (He practices what he preaches)

What was there BEFORE "Post Raisin Bran?" - In the cereal aisle

Oh! They're BONES! I was just thinking "Hey...fish aren't supposed to have HAIR..." -Eating salmon for apparently the first time

Eat from the trough! - Witnessing the narrow pan of brownies I had got

I keep farting. God, I just can't stop! - one gassy day

This is the goriest episode of 90210 I've ever seen.-- Watching Starship Troopers

Artificially flavored foods should be required by the FDA to have their flavors in quotes. Mmm, "Grape" soda. -- Shopping again

Master? You look like a pile of shit with eyes. - talking to his pet amoeba/evil overlord

I'm trying out Brian's way of life, but I dunno if I can drink that much soda. -- On alternative nutrition

The future is here now... in my mouth! -- eating french fries coated in a recently developed "crispy" grease.

Great. Now I hate Paris AND werewolves. -- After seeing _An_American_Werewolf_In_Paris

I think Mr. Potato Head needs to go away now. -- Kris, during lunch, at Burger King

You've got angst in your pangst! -- to me?

Yeah, it's rare to see Andrew around these days. He's like bigfoot. -- to Brandon

Yeah, probably every time. -- see the link

I'll have the Ham... (meaningful pause) .. EXPLOSION. -- ordering a sandwich

Do you hear what I hear? Doors are slamming shut. Limit your imagination, kick me in the butt -- getting the Metallica lyrics wrong

I get the feeling that "intelligent" dance music means dance music that you can't dance to. -- on pop culture

Oh no, I have to go to the bathroom again! Good thing peeing is fun! -- at the mercy of his body

Rock and roll is like sex - if it doesn't hurt a little bit, it's probably not that good. -- On playing shows

Only you could make this seem like such a bizarre event. -- watching me put condiments on a hot dog

Yeah, Sir Mix-a-lot was in the store the other day. He comes in all the time... I should call him Sir Comes-in-the-store-a-lot. -- talking bout work

You should quote yourself in your journal. --Kris