Hmm. I feel like giving bad advice. Maybe I should be an astrologer. Wait a minute - you don't need any qualifications! I can do it right now, and no one can stop me! Wheeeee

Forecast for June 30th:

A R I E S :
Today is a good day to go out and kick people in the butt! Then again, pretty much every day is, come to think of it. Watch out for amphibians. An old acquaintance tries to help you with something, but you smack them for doubting your abilities.

T A U R U S :
Time to go out and wander around aimlessly until someone gives something to do, again. There's a possibility that you'll do something really wild and crazy, like buy a CD you've never heard. The moment is auspicious for eating live frogs. Don't waste it!

G E M I N I :
Today is a good day to write horoscopes in your log file. Black socks are a must this evening. Also, remember to buy tickets to San Francisco, because you're supposed to fly down and meet everyone. Wash clothes.

C A N C E R :
Sit around at home and draw plans for a treehouse with machine guns and a helipad on it. Eat lots of eggplant. Call random people on the phone, and pretend to be Don Knotts. Be wary of small animals, they are far more dangerous (and more intelligent!) than they appear.

L E O :
Continue studying opthomology, unless it interferes with your social life. Buy caustic chemicals for your mate. Also, throw away all those potholders you made last month, no one really wants them. Janet is just being nice to avoid hurting your feelings. Look out! Spider!

V I R G O :
You're not really a funky obsessed robot detective, and everyone knows it. But that doesn't mean you have to stop wearing the costume! Hmmm. Just for today, try eating french fries by sucking them through a straw. You'll have to go to McDonalds; other straws are too narrow.

L I B R A :
Okay, I was gonna pay your money back today, but you weren't home when I called. Tomorrow, I promise. Heh heh. Sucker. You'd better keep avoiding that weirdo who keeps hitting on you, or eventually you'll have to be slightly impolite. It's probably a good time to dye your hair again, if you haven't yet. You're starting to look like a mutant skunk.

S C O R P I O :
The mind control beams are especially weak today, so you may want to try escaping the country, or at least warning the populace. While you're out of the house, keep an eye out for that really big semi truck with McDonalds food on it. That's the dreadnaught. It's going to try and kill you, so wear your running shoes and bring a gun! Eat Italian.

S A G I T T A R I U S :
So you're bored and want to do something. I know! Drive your car off a cliff, but jump out at the last second! It worked on the Dukes of Hazzard AND Knight Rider, and if those puffy haired chumps can do it, hell, so can you. Thirsty? I recommend Pepsi, warmed to near boiling. It's yummy!

C A P R I C O R N :
To make yourself useful, start a 'tagging' reserve where young hoodlums can go to spray paint whatever they want. Just purchase a few city blocks, and make a chart of the tagging season. Sale of tagging licenses and spray paint can help towards the cost of new walls, signs, and buses to be vandalized.

A Q U A R I U S :
Peach buffalo in squirming tub. Noodle lengthening putty service of rewinding magnitude. Tomahawk, tomahawk. Scrumptious tongue mystery hat!

P I S C E S :
I'm sure you'll move out of mom's house eventually. Maybe you'll even calm down enough to get your driver's license! Meanwhile, you still owe me a big pile of money from when you didn't have a job. I'm not collecting on it because I'm not starving or anything, and I know where you live. Don't feel guilty about it, either; I don't care that much.

My Dad left for 'Fiddle Tunes', a yearly folk music festival thingie. I'm left alone in this house for a few days. It's verrry quiet. I like silence, to a point. After a few days of nothing but silence, I start to wonder if everyone else in the world really exists. After a week or so, it becomes very important for me to just HEAR someone's voice, stranger or no. Like it or not, humans are pack animals, and I'm not the exception I wish I was.

Upload time. Oh yeah, I finished 'DNA Dream'.