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I was testing your hair |
10:44 pm
"Hey Andrew, I know you've got a hundred other things to do, but we decided that you should move the other web server over too, right now."
At least I know they like working with me. So anyway, now I have to submit weekly status reports, in addition to weekly time sheets, all in the
interest of everyone knowing what I am doing. Now, I have an intranet webpage on which I list the projects I'm doing and how finished they all are.
It takes me 10 minutes to update it every week, and anyone can look at it. My status report is project-coded and time-specific, and it takes me half an
hour to an hour to do it. And I have to record what EVERY HOUR was spent doing, under its appropriate column. There's no column for "doing status reports",
though. There's also no column for "walking around the office trying to figure out what the hell it is everyone is doing". So, it all goes under "administration".
Or maybe "training". (Straight outta 'Dilbert')
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FAQ |
Okay, a few people have sent in some questions, so I'd just like to answer them here.
FAQ v.1
- Q. Where can I get some of the drugs you're on?
A. Well, you can try getting them where I get them, in the corporate first aid closet. If you don't have a corporate first aid closet,
You may be able to find them at a store called 'Payless' in the medication section. Look for 'ibuprofen'. Maybe you weren't talking
about those drugs. In that case, just stay awake for 4 or more days.
- Q. How much beef can you get from a 1000 lb. cow?
A. That's a very good question. While researching the answer, I started feeling quite nauseous. Doing a search for this question on infoseek
produces links to several industrial-beef-production oriented websites that answer some very detailed questions about cows and beef and stuff about what
to do to cows with prolapses... all in all, much more information than I needed. The closest thing to an answer to THIS question I could find was a partial
description returned by infoseek which mentioned cow by-products and went on to say "did you know that out of a 1,000 pound cow nearly 600 pounds..." I
guess we can infer from this that either 600 pounds of a cow are by-product, or 600 pounds are beef. I'm inclined towards the by-product side, meaning that
the answer is 400 pounds of beef.
- Q. Why are all your backgrounds black? Are you protesting something?
A. No. It's because I like white text on black backgrounds. The screen isn't paper! It's not!! It's a cathode ray tube, and
any pixel that is white is radiating photons into your eyes as HARD AS IT CAN! Large white areas burn into my retinas like smoldering
cattle brands. ugh. cattle.
- Q. Why don't you make fancy graphics with drop shadow?
A. Actually, most of my graphics have drop shadows. In fact, most of my text has drop
shadows. While many artists consider this effect overused and trite, I held on to my beliefs and
stuck drop shadow on everything!
- Q. What are you talking about? I don't see any drop shadows.
A. The thing about drop shadow is, it's black. One feature common to most pages on my site is, they're black.
The drop shadow is invisible against the black. In fact, to optimize graphic loading times, I removed extraneous drop shadows
from the actual pixel map wherever they would end up just being invisible anyway.
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LART |
I'm feeling artsy, so I'm trying to make an animated gif. It's not as easy as it should be. On the Amiga, making frame based
animation was so effortless, I could make long, involved sequences with a minimum of planning, at age 15. Getting sidetracked,
Amiga was recently bought by Gateway, makers of fine computers which come in holstein-patterned containers. (Ugh!! Cows!) I can't imagine what
their motives could be. If they start cranking out Amigas, I'm going to buy ten. Back to the gif making grind.
12:45 pm
Had some pizza, wandered around, finished that gif. Interested? Go See It.
It's 10K, so if you're on a 2400 baud modem, it's going to take a half minute or so to load. I guess at 28.8 Kbps it's more like 3 seconds. I'm
gonna go beef up my MOD music page during this next week. Also, I'm going to try not to think about cows. Ugh.
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