Winterface

May 22, 2002 :: 5:03 AM

North Carolina! Take your shirt off and wave it around like you're a pathetic washing machine with bad taste in jewelry! Aw yeah aw yeah. (aw yeah) So I dragged all my rack gear up from the storage room and set it up next to my computer. And, as always, I need exactly one more cord to get everything connected to the point where I don't have to keep shuffling a specific cable around in order to switch between recording and mixing. What kind of cord? Well, the problem is that my A/D convertor isn't working real well right now (sporadic annoying lockups), so I'm using the mini-jacks on the back of the computer case for audio input/output. Which means having long mini-plug cables running between the mixer and there. Two of them! One for mixing the computer's output (samples and softsynths) with the other instruments, and one for recording all those "other" instruments when I want to get that recorded on disk. How many mini-plug cables do I have? Tons! But wait... the distance between the mixer and the computer is 10'... how long are my cables? Well, I'm pretty sure the standard is 6'. And they're all standard. Using my vast array of adapters, I can clump together a single 12' miniplug cable. Soooo I guess I'm heading to fred meyer or something tomorrow because I'm getting sick or reaching behind the computer case to blindly unplug and plug that thing.

Font fun fact: I tried to make the title in helvetica, but I don't see it that way. It's in arial. How can I tell? Well, the top of the lowercase "t" in helvetica is flat. In arial, it's pointy, like the end of a parallelogram. This is the first of many ways in which Monotype has conspired to drive design people batshit insane. Soon I will be wrestling with Microsoft Word and its personal collection of weird fonts. Why do I suddenly give a shit? Well, I'm updating my resume. As most people know (especially recruiters), the shape of your t's (and whether your lowercase a's have little tails or not) can be the critical difference between "you can start monday!" and "we don't hire arial using rejects like yourself". Fortunately, I'm not cultured enough to get upset about my pointy t's. Companies that care too much about stuff like that (or, say, whether one's hair is unusually long) are not a good match for me.

Hey! I cleaned the kitchen! It's clean! I want to go in there right now and bake a cake or something. I can do it. I'm not just making idle threats! I'm a serious cake-bakeable dude, dude. Only, I could just eat a bunch of oreos for the same amount of sugar and less mess/hassle. There are now peanut-butter Oreos. I went to QFC... uh... well, I went to the grocery store to get contact lens stuff, but since I was hungry, I bought a bunch of snacks. Always happens when shopping while hungry. "Duh," you'd think, "common sense dictates that you'll be susceptible to buying things that satisfy a pressing need." Sure, sure. But when you go to the drugstore and you're constipated, you don't load up on laxatives and fiber, now do you? Well, maybe some people do. And then they pass the condom/lubricant aisle when they're all horny and wind up with a 40 pack of "magnum"s and strawberry "wet". God forbid they pass a bed store while tired.

QFC has been bought by Kroger, after years of fighting off their advances. How? Well, they allowed Fred Meyer to buy them, and Kroger bought Fred Meyer. Now Kroger stuff is popping up all over QFC shelves, and you have to get an "Advantage Card" to get sale prices you previously got automatically. Why even bother with the card? One reason could be because Kroger can keep statistics on the stuff you buy and sell this data to companies that sell similar stuff, commanding a high price for such well-targeted demographic info. Strangely, though Kroger profits from this information, you do not gain any additional discounts from giving it up. You're used to the sale price, and they're jacking up the cost now that you're addicted. I guess you can still do business the back-alley way. (p.s. oil, another addiction, has energy junkies trying to sell out their wildlife preserves just for a few more years of junk.)

Spam of the day: The Lawn Ornaments You Want -- at unbelievable prices! Wowww. How much was I expecting to pay for a trio of pink flamingos? Probably up to $25! Gnomes, jockeys - even birdbaths are probably available from these guys. How do they do it?? They must have some kind of... lawn ornament cornucopia? lawn ornucopia? Well, whatever. Do people who respond to spam have lawns? I'm sort of imagining them living in little cement boxes crammed full of viagra and penis enlarging paraphernalia. And printer cartridges.

today's mp3 features vocals hot off the answering machine

note: my answering machine message is currently, "Okay, last time. This is Andrew. This is an answering machine. This is ANDREW on an ANSWERING MACHINE. Any questions? Leave a message."

copyright 2002 andrew HJKL denyes andr00@earthlink.net