The tiniest breeze tickled my right ear, triggering the ponderous redirection of my heavy cranium to scan my back right quarter. The weight of my uncut hair dragged over my left shoulder like a beaver carcass collapsing off a tree stump. My new visual arc contained two low-top shoes, a computer monitor on a barstool, a large blue couch, and Ed. "Hello, Ed", said my mouth. I anticipated that Ed would take 3 and a half seconds to process and reply to the verbal handshake. No sign of comprehension. I predicted a null or neutral response. My conversational interaction timeout elapsed and I turned back to the monitor, disappointed in the unfulfilling social investment.
"What would Bill have done?"
Yes. What indeed? I had an incredible resource available to me now; a human peer captive in my own house! My lips tightened across my teeth in an unnatural grin. Bill would force a hostile socialization.