And, if I don't act all personable I get this big guilt trip. Right now I'm being very cold and robot like, and it's because I've had about enough of people for today and I need to be alone in my room with my thoughts. I guess one of the reasons I like Internet style communications so much is that they allow me to have contact with humans, and still be alone in my room, and able to close off windows if I feel the need for stillness.

Anyway, Ed's moving down to San Jose tomorrow, and so this is probably the last time we'll hang out for a while. But I'm still sitting in my room and not paying any attention. Even though he's my closest friend right now. Why am I so distanced? Hmm. Well, it might have something to do with past experiences with people who you love a lot who kind of just leave one day without warning, without saying goodbye, and you find a note the next day that says they aren't ever coming back. Maybe that could be part of it.