11:17 pm
These days, I just don't feel depressed much (I think). I used to. If you go back into my paper journal
from around 7th grade, pretty much every other entry was something like "I feel terrible, nobody likes me, I am
all alone in a crowded room." Then if you skip ahead to 8 or 9th grade, it's "I feel terrible, I hate everyone,
they're all narrow-minded, shallow, and afraid of each other." After that it's pretty much all: "I feel terrible,
I will never be close to anyone, you can't trust anyone because people can't even trust themselves. The world has
no reason for existing."
Now I feel nothing. I don't know what mood I am in right now.
If I am depressed, I don't know it, and I don't know why. Have I turned insensitive? It must have been very recently,
because I can remember feeling very depressed not so long ago. And angry, sorry, etc. Must just be today, then. Maybe the
lack of sleep this week. Maybe getting too much sleep today. I woke up at 7 pm today.
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I may be coming close to a working design here. The goal is to make a journal page format which isn't
annoying to look at, which is readable on many different browsers, which will load quickly. Another plus
would be for everything in it to scale to the size of the browser window. You can never tell what crazy
things people will do with their browsers. At work, they want to get around this problem (on the Hawaii Online home page) by having the main
page open another window (via javascript) which cannot be resized. The word "Irritating" comes to mind as not completely irrelevant.
They also want to add sound. Music, actually. I wonder what song they were thinking of adding.
I will suggest "More and Faster" by KMFDM:
More and Faster, here we come
White & Trashy & incredibly dumb!
Yah. I have quoted that song before. It reminds me of the internet.
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