Nothing Heat12.9.2001
or: Low Mental Focus time
I spent a bunch of time today reading more about mental focus and various effects of it. It seems that times of low mental focus are creative times in which people make associations which they would not normally consider. This may be why I write so many songs at 4 am. Or get song ideas on the bus. An activity which requires only a tiny bit of attention but is exclusive with other activities may create a state of low mental focus. Riding the bus requires the teensiest bit of attention to keep from missing your stop. It is otherwise one of the least attention-requiring activities I can think of. I don't experience it regularly anymore, since I got the car. Maybe I should start riding the bus again, just for inspiration. Thing is, if I'm just riding aimlessly, I don't need to keep an eye on the stops, so I'm not sure the same state of mind is acheived. I might just fall asleep.
Oh boy, fall asleep. That sounds really good right now. The feeling of finally getting to sleep after a long day is so good to anticipate. When you can finally relent and let your consciousness scatter (dreaming is considered, by the author of the book I'm reading, to be the lowest level of mental focus, allowing hallucinations of things we would not want to think about during the day, or just wouldn't associate with anything.) it might be a taste of how it feels to let go of life and go to death. Of course, like that experience, when you're actually going to sleep, you don't get to remember much about the experience once sleep starts really happening. I'm not sure I understand people liking sleep. Maybe they like the sensation of not having to get out of bed, which I think is a different thing entirely.
Bleah. I forgot my glasses and so I have to wear my contact lenses unto the last possible instant. Then I deposit them in the bathroom and bumble by dead reckoning to bed, where I experience probably 1 or 2 whole minutes of going-to-sleep bliss. Then nothing.
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