Ham Fan Crisco12.26.2001
What I love about San Francisco
Ah, San Francisco. It's foggy a lot, the roads are very intensely textured, and the people who live here seem to drive very close together and like changing speeds a lot. [Pictures of Ricky Martin Naked]. The restaurants are uniformly quirky and the quality of food in general is higher than, say, at Lynnwood Mall. You can lap up espresso at Peet's coffee, and then get breakfast at Cleo's. Then you can go to the Marina district and pretend you're in a teeny version of L.A., complete with style-obsessed, spiritually bankrupt citizens. (note: Andr00's impressions of L.A. are based on the people he met at a 3 day music industry convention). You can go to the Castro and get really gay. Or, you can sit around downtown and watch the recently unoverpaid walk their streets carrying new anti-establishment attitudes and old fashioned retail jobs. Yep, San Francisco. It's the greatest place ever. Have any doubts? The inhabitants will make sure you know it! [Free case badges.]
Well, that's so far. People here also don't know how to drive when it rains. They think they can continue to drive atthe same speeds, with the same handling characteristics. I'm sure each franciscan victim in a bad-weather accident is thunderstruck that the properties of visibility and friction have betrayed them so. Not like people in Seattle. They know how to drive when it rains, that you have to slow down and take turns more carefully than usually necessary. The problem is, they still drive that way when it's dry and sunny. [Nude pokemon, men peeing.]
As far as natural disasters go, SFs really got a headstart in the earthquake department. No tornados or hurricanes to speak of, though. Tidal waves might be a problem someday. Terrorists? Well, today as I drove over the Bay Bridge, Helen spotted a single soldier, armed with M-16, posted at one end of the first span. Maybe we think the bridges are safe, but soldiers don't just get posted in urban areas for fun. So, if you're planning on crossing a bridge in SF, be careful that your car does not say BOMB on it.
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