Coredumps From My Brain | 1 13 2003

...15 JAN: 9 10 11 12

13: Fine, China

I hope I die before I get old

Chinese astrology says that my luckiest years will all occur between the ages of 61 and 70 (if I make it to 90, the intervening years will also be very lucky). So that's when I Should get married and start my career. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do during all these unlucky years. I hope it has something to do with sitting at a computer and typing, because I'm really way ahead of schedule as far as how much of that I've been doing. In the following chart, the blue bar is my baseline luck level at birth, then whenever the red bar is taller than that, that decade is considered lucky. I've always considered myself an extraordinarily lucky person, but apparently the improbablest is yet to come, as I've been in a deep luck crater for almost 3 decades. I'm guessing when I turn 61 that I start winning the lottery without entering it, dodging bullets, and generally impressing the world with my half-assery.

41 might be a little rough

I'm hoping for the kind of luck that makes your friends say "you lucky dog!" and not the kind that involves a doctor saying "you're a very lucky man...". Being half Chinese means that every family function I go to that involves Mom's side is planned with luck in mind from beginning to end. Luck, luck, luck! Red is lucky - everything is red! Eating weird things is lucky - fight over who gets the fish eyeballs! Firecrackers are lucky - we set them off in the cemetery! I suppose it's possible that my generally positive fortune is due to the efforts of my Chinese relatives. Thanks guys! Can you blow up a couple thousand firecrackers for me on Chinese new year's? I'm trying to get a job.

Suddenly, I have the embarrassingly loud hiccups. Can I construe that as a sign from the luck gods to quit making fun of them? Or possibly that I am pinching my phrenic nerve by slouching in a folding chair? Well, whatever. Luck gods, you haven't really done much for me lately. Am I going to have to start appeasing the "At least" gods?

Luck aside, there are lots of ways to make it more likely for me to have a job. I've been searching for employers in the Seattle area, and have come up with quite a few. The frustrating thing is that there are ten million times as many jobs that I am ALMOST qualified for as there are jobs that fit exactly. The temptation to apply to these guaranteed rejections is pretty severe, as I'd probably be able to do whatever job reasonably well, given that I am not really retarded, and I'm not applying for positions like horse whisperer or thaumaturgist. I resist the urge and concentrate on jobs I am right for. I don't know what else to do. Too bad you can't set off firecrackers here.